It Is Finished. It Begins.

I’ve been shooting weddings for over eight years, and on Friday I will finally shut down my photography business. After a lot of time thinking, searching, seeking, speaking with friends, colleagues and my wife, I’ve realised that the season of professional photographer has come to an end. It’s a decision that’s been coming for nearly a year now (or more, if I’m entirely honest) and I can finally say that it is a decision that is both freeing and joyful.

Not that life isn’t without a sense of humour: no longer had I made the decision to shut everything down than I’ve had more enquiries in two weeks than the previous year combined. The true sign that I was at peace with the decision was in how I felt in turning those enquiries away: excited. Joyed. Even a cheeky sense of “too bad” as I turned them away. It’s a decision I now proudly own.

Moving on and deciding what comes next is the greatest challenge remaining. I know that I need some level of drive that comes from a project that gets me excited, from a sense of using gifts and talents, in order to keep pushing myself and my work. The exciting part are the glimpses of what that may be, and how the personal projects may actually intertwine with my full-time work. That possibility brings up the tangible, physiological response and excitement in my chest – an ability to pursue and discover exactly what the dream is with the backing, support and resources afforded from not forging ahead on my own.

I know this has been somewhat of a #vaguetweet style post, but having this particular semi-public space in which to work out some ideas works is required at some level of my process. There’s only so much I can throw things around in my mind, or in a journal, before I need to attach the (somewhat slight) weight of having them written somewhere publicly. This is evidence of me moving forward. This is proof that I can begin the next stage.

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